You are who you believe you are

By | life coaching

I know its sounds pretty trivial.  One of the slogans which you can find in various motivational books or Adidas and Nike advertisement:  ‘You are who you believe you are.’  Is faith really so important?  Jon Krakauer wrote; “It’s not always necessary to be strong, but to feel strong.”  Is it not about being great as opposed believing that one can become great?  Is it not about achieving rather than believing that we are able to achieve?  Is there a moment where dreams link with faith to create reality?  It’s easy to agree or disagree with the role of faith in our life.  All I can do is to share my own experience.

As far as I can remember, I always wanted to be a writer.  I wanted to be a writer when I was six and I wrote my first one page science-fiction story on my father’s old typewriter.  I wanted to be a writer when I was in the high school, playing truant, spending my time outdoors in the woods or at the river bank, writing poems and dreaming of being like Rimbaud or Baudelaire.  I wanted to be a writer when I got married. I was an unemployed computer science teacher, who dreamt of writing one life changing novel! A novel which I never completed.  Throughout my twenties I slowly started to believe that fiction writing wasn’t for me. After all, so many people dream about being writers, singers, hip-hop stars, film actors and never become one. Writing seemed to be a silly dream that had clung to my life.

I finally let go of the dream and focus on ‘real life.’  I found a job in sales and helped my wife manage her business.  After a few years we left Poland and settled in Ireland… and in Ireland I discovered one thing; the dream was still present, glistening deep inside of me.  No matter how hard I tried to let go of it, it lived and breathed in my soul.

In order to achieve a dream, we need to have a dream.  We can not reach our dreams if we don’t have them. I think that some people choose not to have dreams because it’s safer and it saves many disappointments. Is having a dream enough? Did not most of us have dreams when we were children?  Dreams bigger than us? Why do only a few achieve them?

Somehow after more than 25 years of dreaming to be a writer, I didn’t become one.

It changed one sunny day.  It was late October and I went for a walk to the woods to pray and meditate on my life.  And there it happened.  A moment of realization struck me with such a clarity.  I heard a clear voice coming from within: “You’re going to write a book.”  In that instant I just believed and said out loud:  “I’m going to be a writer.”

It’s not easy to start and it’s even harder to finish.  Passion and hard work should be a fuel to achieve our dreams but I believe that faith is the most important element in the formula of succeeding.  If you don’t have a dream, you won’t achieve it. If you don’t believe that you can reach it, you will fail too.

So one last question.  When did I become a writer?  When the dream was born?  Was it when I finished my debut novel? Or maybe, I’m not a writer and will only become one after my book is published?  The answer is simple. I became an author on that sunny October day, the moment I believed in my heart that I could.


If you believe without a doubt that you can became someone or reach your dreams, I promise that you will. Just have faith because you are who you believe you are.

Make stress your friend and some tips for happiness

By | life coaching

We arrived in Ireland a few days ago on the wings of a gale wind. It has been a very busy month with trips to Poland, Germany, and Norway. A weird anxiety consumed me causing me to spend a lot of time alone hiking the Norwegian and Irish mountains. I’ve learned an important lesson. You can not escape from anxiety and pressure in your life; it will always follow you wherever you go even if you leave it for a moment, you will soon realize that you have to face it. We so often dream of changing our lives and living in different places but the sad realization is that geographical location won’t change much. Of-course you can get more sun in Spain, or silence in the Norwegian mountains, but what you bare inside of you will follow. The grass might be greener for a period of time. Sadly, however, as time passes by you will discover that the ‘stress’ doesn’t come only from the world outside. It comes from within.

I spent time away from people and all the noises they make; only to find that I had to come back and face the stress and anxiety deep within me.

In the last article, I promised that I would give a few tips from my students on the topic of happiness, but before I do that, I will continue with the subject of stress.

Is it so bad, and if so, how can we avoid it?

Maybe we don’t have to avoid it. Perhaps we could just look at it from a completely different point of view.

What if what scientists have told us in the past ten years about stress is actually wrong? The latest research on stress indicates that what you believe about stress changes its’ effect on you. If you believe that stress isn’t harmful but is actually good, it will literally strengthen your heart. If you learn how to live in a stressful situation with a positive outlook, your brain will produce a hormone very similar to braveness.

Maybe instead of constantly running from stressful situations we can learn how to deal with them. We can begin to believe that those situations aren’t harmful and gain from them.

Find work that has a meaning and greater purpose instead of staying in your comfort zone. Stress can be your enemy if you think it is, but it can become your friend if you have the right attitude.  Stress can actually make you stronger and braver.



Fear of waves

By | life coaching

‘Life is a surfing so don’t be afraid of waves’ sings a polish singer Myslovits. As I was listening to that song, I thought about waves crushing into my life. Often cold and heavy, bringing changes and new possibilities. If life is like a surfing, why are we so afraid of waves?

After working as a sales person for a few companies and after losing a business that I had run with my wife, I ended up on a small island, in a small town, stuck for 5 years in work that supposed to be only temporarily. In that time, I didn’t realize that big waves of changes were approaching my life.

In one ordinary day they arrived, crushing the rocks of my illusionary safeness. I was sucked without a warning. Was I afraid? Sure! Paralyzed by fear and uncertainty. However in that point, something began to change and I discovered (with help) that it was the perfect time to dust off my dreams and start doing what I always desired to do.

I can see now, from a perspective, that losing my job in a time of recession was actually the best thing that could happen to me. It was a moment of realization that ‘now’ was a time to pursuit dreams. I still didn’t get there but the journey I’m in is worth living.

‘Life is a surfing so don’t be afraid of waves’. Yes…stop being afraid. When the changes are coming, just surf and try to have a good time.